Of couuuuuuuuuurse I get the rag right before I go to my boyfriends house. Awesome.

ANYWHOOOOO.

I've been thinking a lot about moving in (NJ) in August and I think I'm leaning more towards a definite. Who knows, we'll see where my life takes me at that point, and so on.

I told myself I'd be writing in this daily, but truth be told, not much has been going on in my life worth retelling. I've pretty much rekindled friendships with everyone and anyone who I had ever had a problem with merely for the fact that there's really no point in stressing over pointless and caddy controversies. I'll always have my grudges and my judgments over people, but that's just how homosapien roll. I can't stop negative thought processes and I can't stop others from thinking negatively about me, whether it be jealousy or just not being able to understand me, and vise-versa.

I've been having a lot of panic attacks, lately. I'm quite certain it's just that time of the year to have them. This happened to me last year, as well, but at that time I wasn't even on medication, so it was definitely a lot worse.

Lately the panic attacks have been mainly about losing my boyfriend. It's completely and utterly irrational, because I'm not going to at all, but the worry is always there because my mind constantly enjoys reminding me of the slight possibility. My rational thinking just has to kick my irrational thinking's ass and remind it that everything has a slight possibility to turn for the worse, my actions just have to make sure that that doesn't happen.

Other areas of my life are fine. Friendships are steady. Family is doing well, I suppose.

Well, actually, not for my mum's side of it. With everything that's been happening with my grandfather and such I'm not sure hot to be the strong one in the family when I'm the youngest and surely not the wisest.

Work could be better, but I get paid so I cannot complain. I definitely need to get either a full time job or two more part time jobs along with BE, because New Jersey wont be possible with out the finances. Also starting the spring I'll be going back to Penn Foster (they invited me because of my "outstanding grades and potential") for a college degree in business and finances. Those classes shall absolutely kick my ass.

I leave you with a quote by Emily Griffin:

"Maybe that’s what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."